to sum up the weekend....

You see the question isn't are you going to suffer any more

But what will it have meant when you are through?

The question isn't are you going to die, you're going to die

But will you be done living when you do? -Justin McRoberts

"To love one's neighbor, therefore, means essentially to will to exist equally for every human being without exception. If then you meet the king, gladly and respectfully give him his due. You should see in him his inner glory, the equality of glory, the neighbor that his human magnificence only conceals. If you meet a beggar - perhaps suffering in sorrow over him more than he himself -you should nevertheless also see in him his inner glory, the equality of glory, the neighbor which his wretched outer garments conceal. Yes then, you shall see, wherever you turn your eye, your neighbor. In being king, beggar, scholar, rich man, poor man, friend, enemy, we do not resemble each other - in these ways we are all different. But in being a neighbor we are all unconditionally alike..."

"[and on how to love your neighbors]...to help another human being to love God is to love another person.

-Soren Kierkegaard

there is no "plan b"

so at church last week, lloyd preached on the passage in genesis about the fall of adam and eve and what that meant for humanity. this was interesting to me because i had just read something earlier that day in john piper's book, "spectacular sins" about the exact same thing. so i figured i might should pay attention.

"Consider 2 Timothy 1:9, 'God saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.' Saving grace was given to us before the ages began. That is, it was given to us before there was any human sin to save us from. Therefore, grace was planned before human sin was there to need it. This means that God's plan to save us through grace was not a response to human decisions to sin. Saving grace was the plan that made sin necessary. God did not find sin in the world and then make a plan to remedy it. He had the plan before the ages, and that plan was for the glory of sin-conquering grace through the death of Jesus Christ....Therefore, the biblical view is that the sufferings and death of Christ for sin are not planned after the actual sin of Adam but before. Therefore, when the sin of Adam happens, God is not surprised by it, but has already made it part of his plan- namely, a plan to display his amazing patience and grace and justice and wrath in the history of the redemption, and then, climactically, to reveal the greatness of his Son as the second Adam superior in every way to the first Adam." - piper

or, as lloyd put it, God didn't have a "plan b." this was the plan. God was not surprised when Adam and Eve sinned, he planned it as part of his redemptive story. a redeemed creation is more beautiful than a creation that never fell. Jesus' glory is greater because he has and will redeem all sin and suffering. he is the whole point anyways.

doesn't this blow your mind? its beautiful and powerful and comforting all at the same time. i am still pondering all these things, but it is life changing stuff.

the grace of giving

"Remember this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." -2 Corinthians 9:6-8

the phrase "good work" comes from the greek word "ergon," meaning a good deed, or to do something. this same greek word is used when mary annoints Jesus in mark 14:6. Jesus remarks that she has "done a beautiful thing to me," after one of the disciples questions her extravagant giving. mary was worshiping through giving an amazing gift to Jesus.

"good works" does not mean busyness. it means worship.

i pray that the Lord gives me (and you) the grace of giving this christmas.

i will.

"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
Ezekiel 36: 25-27

i love that God promises to be the one to clean our hearts out of all the junk we put in them. coming from someone who is more than a little OCD about cleaning, its nice to be reminded that someone else is doing the complete and perfect work that i could never do. just when we feel helpless and frustrated to do what the Father has called us to, he reminds us that HE gives us the Spirit that enables us to obey.

the phrase "I will put/I will give" that is repeated over and over again in this passage correlates to the hebrew word "nathan," meaning to give, to put or to set in place. it is the same word used in Genesis 1 when it talks about God setting the sun, moon and stars in the heaven.

so the Father uses the same power to place His spirit in us that he used to create the universe.

that is amazing to me. really, really amazing.

"Therefore say to the house of Israel, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name." Ezekiel 36:22

fear not

"It's fear that makes us do those slightly crazy, often inappropriate things. Fear that blurts out thoughtless, sometimes hurtful words. Because fear babbles. It freaks out. It searches frantically for explanations and solutions. It races around trying to fix things or, at the very least, figure things out....
For you see, difficulties can't separate us from God - only fear can. And fear in its purest form is really unbelief, the false conviction that 'God can't, God won't...so I must.' Faith on the other hand, chooses to believe that 'God can, God wants to, and God will...so I choose to trust Him with my life.' Can fear and faith coexist in the same person? Of course they can...and they do. As long as we live on earth, flesh-fed fear retains an influence. But the more we persist in faith, obeying God and opening our hearts to His love, the weaker fear becomes....
On those difficult, overwhelming days when I'm struggling with fear- when the waves of my failure obliterate my awareness of God's perfect love - I make a conscious choice to both repent and then believe I am forgiven in spite of what I feel. And not just forgiven, but cherished. Beloved. Protected. Held close with a love that far surpasses anything we could ever experience here on earth. "
-Joanna Weaver

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us." 1 John 4:16

messengers of grace

"troubles in life are often messengers of grace." -lloyd shadrach

"I call out to you Lord, every day; I spread out my hands to you. Do you show your wonders to the dead? Do those who are dead rise up and praise you? Is your love declared in the grave, your faithfulness in destruction? Are your wonders known in the place of darkness, or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion? But I cry to you for help, O Lord, in the morning my prayer comes before you." Psalm 88


praise God that the answer to all those questions is a resounding 'Yes.' like mary and martha facing lazarus's death, my heart has asked God several times this month...Lord, where were you when that happened? and He responds the same: "I am the ressurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?" (John 11:25-26).

the past few weeks have been full of very hard and heavy things for a lot of people i know. pray that God's grace can find its way through the cloud of troubles to heal their hearts... and mine.

"As for me, I have set my King."

we are going through psalms right now at church and sunday we explored the issue of kingship and how we often rebelliously seek what we think is 'freedom' from Jesus being king over us.

"But when they said, 'Give us a king to lead us,' this was displeasing to Samuel, so he prayed to the Lord. And the Lord told him: 'Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king...'
But the people refused to listen to Samuel. 'No!' they said. 'We want a king over us. Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles." 1 Samuel 8:6-7, 19-20

i love imagining what scenes like this look like. samuel's pride is wounded when the israelites tell him they want a king instead of a judge. the hebrew word for 'displeased' is ra'a', which can mean to injure, to be evil to, or to shatter/break. 'displease' just makes it sound like samuel is a little irritated, when in reality he is crushed and probably angry. yet the Lord is quick to remind him, "this story is not about you, its about Me."

Jesus please keep us from desiring to 'be like all the other nations' and trying to replace you with something less. thank you for reminding me on sunday: "As for me, I have set my King." (Psalm 2:6)

pray...without ceasing?

we are going through 1 Thessalonians at church and last night Lloyd preached on the passage of "Be joyful always; pray without ceasing; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thes 5:16-18)

he brought up that if we want to know God's will for our lives, we have three pretty plain commands right here. but, most people will eventually figure out that these things are impossible for anyone to do....except in Christ Jesus. most people forget the dependent clause on the end of that section and instead just focus on the holy "to do" list at the beginning of the passage. The point is Jesus. He was the only person who actually did all these things and we can only even attempt them with His help.

"Our thinking about prayer, whether right or wrong, is based on our own mental conception of it. The correct concept is to think of prayer as the breath in our lungs and the blood from our hearts. Our blood flows and our breathing continues 'without ceasing'; we are not even conscious of it, but it never stops. And we are not always conscious of Jesus keeping us in perfect oneness with God, but if we are obeying Him, He always is. Prayer is not an excercise, it is the life of a saint." -O. Chambers

hope

i get so frustrated with myself this time of year when fear decides to take over my every thought as i go through my yearly tests. if i pass, this will be the last one. i want to be okay. i'm hoping that i will be.

but...our pastor said something at church this week that has been ringing in my head ever since:

hope isn't wishing nothing bad will happen to you.

we hope for things to turn out alright, when we should be hoping for the glory of God to be revealed in us. suffering ends up producing hope. not hope in ourselves, but hope in someone better...

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5: 1-5

something to believe

http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1711_i_will_never_believe/
jesus is so patient with those who have a hard time with belief. Belief that he is who he says he is. Belief that he loves them. Belief that he can be trusted with everything.

"Lord I do believe; Help my unbelief!" Mark 9:24

you can do as you please

so...Jonah and I have been hanging out for a while.

a while as in.... several years. we have gotten to know each other pretty well. yet the Lord still uses this little book to teach me new things all the time.

"Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up. All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own gods....the men did their best to row back to land. But they could not, for the sea grew even wilder than before. Then they cried to the Lord, 'O Lord, please do not let us die for taking this man's life. Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man, for you, O Lord, have done as you pleased.' Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea grew calm. At this the men greatly feared the Lord, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows to him." Jonah 1:4-5, 13-16

most of the time when this phrase "the Lord has done as he pleased" is used, it is dealing with getting rid of our idols. Often situations arise that seem horrible, uncomfortable, disappointing or irritating - are situations where the Lord is removing things from our life that we value more than him. And when we finally recognize him for who he is, we'll finally get the point...he is God and he can do as he pleases.


"I know the Lord is great, that our Lord is greater than all gods. The Lord does whatever pleases him, in the heavens and on the earth, in the seas and all their depths." Psalm 135:5-6

"Our God is in heaven, he does whatever pleases him. But their idols are silver and gold, made by the hands on men." Psalm 115:3-4

"To whom will you compare me or count me equal? To whom will you liken me that we may be compared? Some pour out gold from their bags and weigh out silver on the scales; they hire a goldsmith to make it into a god, and they bow down and worship it. They lift it to their shoulders and carry it; they set it up in its place, and there it stands. From that spot it cannot move. Though one cries out to it, it does not answer; it cannot save him from his troubles...Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand and I will do all that I please." Isaiah 45:5-10

encouraged to love

in honor of "valentimes" (that is for wimbo).....what does it look like to truly love someone in an unselfish way? encouragement can certainly play a part.

the book of acts talks about a guy named joseph who was incredibly encouraging to those around him. so much so that everyone started calling him barnabus (which means son of encouragement).

so barnabus encouraged people in a couple of different ways.

-he saw needs and met them:
"All the believers were in one heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales to the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need. Joseph...whom the apostles called Barnabus, sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the feet of the apostles." -Acts 4:32-37

-he saw potential in someone and developed it
"But Barnabus took him [Paul] and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord has spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus." Acts 9:27

-he saw faith and encouraged/nurtured it
"...they sent Barnabus to Antioch. When he arrived and saw the evidence of the grace of God, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts." -Acts 11:23

whatever it looks like for you,
today i encourage you to love someone well.

ananias

Acts 9:10-11
"The Lord told him, 'Go to the house of Judas on straight street and ask for a man named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.'
'Lord,' Ananias answered, 'I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name. But the Lord said to Ananias, 'Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer in my name.'
Then Ananias went."


such an interesting example of obedience in a seemingly illogical situation. i too might be a bit hesitant to go talk to someone who might murder me...but when i drag my feet, the Lord certainly is faithful to remind me who he is ("Go!" with an exclamation point is pretty intense when it comes from God.)

if Ananias would have talked himself out of going to talk to Saul/Paul, would the rest of the bible have looked different? would the Lord have blessed someone else with the opportunity to witness to Saul/Paul? interesting how small decisions can make big differences.

we three... "kings"?

so...after the sermon today, one of my favorite christmas songs will certainly be thought of in a different way....

in talking about the wise men (matthew 2:1-12) our pastor brought up a few interesting points...

-the wise men weren't kings. they were academicians who studied astronomy. pagans back then believed the stars could fortell the future, so anyone who could read the stars was regarded as highly intelligent and was well respected.

-we don't know if there were 3 of them. the bible never says anything about 3 people, only that they brought gold, incense, and myrhh. 3 gifts don't necessarily equal 3 people.

-the wise men did not show up when Jesus was in the manger. Vs. 11 says they came to a house. So we are unsure how old Jesus was when the wise men actually got there. (So technically....they don't really belong in the manger scene....)

- Vs. 4-6 talk about how all the priests and teachers of the law knew that the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem (which was not far from Jerusalem), yet they did not go there! The gentile/pagan wise men were more concerned with worshipping the king than the people who knew the truth.
....perhaps instead the priests and teachers stayed home and "studied the scriptures" instead of doing what they said.

convicting? definitely. interesting? always.

making a way in the desert

"Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland"

Isaiah 43:19

it is hard to see how the Lord is providing for you in the desert when you are still stuck processing the past. just when i think God has had it 'up to here' with me...he reminds me of his present (and incomprehensible) grace.

what oswald says:

"Our present enjoyment of God’s grace tends to be lessened by the memory of yesterday’s sins and blunders. But God is the God of our yesterdays, and He allows the memory of them to turn the past into a ministry of spiritual growth for our future. God reminds us of the past to protect us from a very shallow security in the present.

Security for Tomorrow.
". . . the Lord will go before you . . . ." This is a gracious revelation— that God will send His forces out where we have failed to do so. He will keep watch so that we will not be tripped up again by the same failures, as would undoubtedly happen if He were not our "rear guard." And God’s hand reaches back to the past, settling all the claims against our conscience.

Leave the broken, irreversible past in His hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him."

when its been a rough week....or weeks

Psalm 40

I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

Blessed is the man
who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods*. (the ESV calls them "lies")

Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.

Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,
but my ears you have opened;
burnt offerings and sin offerings
you did not require.
Then I said, "Here I am, I have come—
it is written about me in the scroll.
I desire to do your will, O my God;
your law is within my heart."

I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly;
I do not seal my lips,
as you know, O LORD.
I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
I do not conceal your love and your truth
from the great assembly.

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
may your love and your truth always protect me.
For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.

Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
O LORD, come quickly to help me.
May all who seek to take my life
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
be turned back in disgrace.
May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!"
be appalled at their own shame.
But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation always say,
"The LORD be exalted!"

Yet I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
O my God, do not delay.

When my mouth fails to produce the words needed to cry out to the Lord, his Spirit is so faithful to intercede and lead me right to what I desperately need.
May the Lord give you strength to make it through your days with joy.

tiaras and plastic high heels can make a girl's day

this morning i saw something wonderful.

two little girls walked into a restaurant with their mom, completely decked out in sparkly princess costumes, tiaras atop tangled hair, and plastic dress up shoes. they proudly pranced in, completely unaware and unconcerned with the various reactions of everyone else in the restaurant.

many people (including our table) laughed or smiled, although i noticed a few dissaproving stares from people who clearly thought it was a ridiculous decision and/or poor parenting for the mom to let her kids out of the house like this. secretly i think part of me wanted to go shake those people.

i don't really care if the mom lost a battle with the little girls over getting dressed this morning or whether she actually encouraged the girls to dress up for their morning out. whether it was purposeful or not, i think it was a great decision. their excitement at wanting to show the world how special they were struck a chord in me. i think all girls want to know we are beautiful....that is probably why we like to get dressed up.

they made me smile because they reminded me of how little girls are by nature so secure in their beauty and confident in the belief that they are made to be princesses. its like it is instictively build into our very spirit. God made our hearts to work this way! ...sadly, after years of being hurt, rejected, taunted, or abandoned, the world strips us of our confidence, telling us we are too fat, too short, too stupid, or too weak. we are told that we are just like everybody else. bitterness and insecurity make us doubt that we are anything special...that we deserve to be loved.

and all the while God is gently trying to whisper to us how beautiful he thinks we are, how much he values us, how we are princesses and heirs to his kindgom. the King is enthralled by our beauty.

God whispered that to me today, and i am grateful.

something is coming but I don't know what

God is doing amazing things...crazy things. I don't know what else to say except it is weird and cool and beautiful and its all I can do to keep up...

"Look at the nations and watch - and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Habakkuk 1:5

I keep telling mom I'm not going crazy.

But truthfully I am delerious with wonder most of the time.

being "unproductive" for a day depends on how you look at it....

sometimes you read words (or in my case, The Word), or hear music or look at a picture a thousand times and you think....hey that is good.

and then one day, it kicks you in the face. and it becomes real. it becomes your life.

today was full of these things.
and coincidentally, today was actually the first day... in a long time... that i have not been too busy to process things like this.

its really cool how God works things out like that.

Who is this King of Glory that pursues me with his love?
And haunts me with each hearing of His softly spoken words?
My conscience, a reminder of forgiveness that I need,
Who is this King of Glory who offers it to me?
Who is this King of angels, O blessed Prince of Peace
Revealing things of Heaven and all its mysteries
My spirit's ever longing for His grace in which to stand
Who's this King of glory, Son of God and son of man?

His name is Jesus, precious Jesus
The Lord Almighty, the King of my heart, The King of glory

Who is this King of Glory with strength and majesty
And wisdom beyond measure, the graceous King of kings
the Lord of Earth and Heaven, the Creator of all things
Who is this King of Glory, He's everything to me
The Lord of Earth and Heaven, the Creator of all things
He is the King of glory, He's everything to me