rich young ruler

"poverty is so hard to see
when it’s only on your tv
and twenty miles across town
where we’re all living so good
that we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhood
where he’s hungry and not feeling so good
from going through our trash
he says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just can’t give me

so what must we do
here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks, sell your security
and give it to the poor
what is this, hey what’s the deal
i don’t sleep around and i don’t steal
i want the things you just can’t give me

because what you do to the least of these
my brother’s, you have done it to me
because i want the things you just can’t give me"

-derek webb, rich young ruler

we three... "kings"?

so...after the sermon today, one of my favorite christmas songs will certainly be thought of in a different way....

in talking about the wise men (matthew 2:1-12) our pastor brought up a few interesting points...

-the wise men weren't kings. they were academicians who studied astronomy. pagans back then believed the stars could fortell the future, so anyone who could read the stars was regarded as highly intelligent and was well respected.

-we don't know if there were 3 of them. the bible never says anything about 3 people, only that they brought gold, incense, and myrhh. 3 gifts don't necessarily equal 3 people.

-the wise men did not show up when Jesus was in the manger. Vs. 11 says they came to a house. So we are unsure how old Jesus was when the wise men actually got there. (So technically....they don't really belong in the manger scene....)

- Vs. 4-6 talk about how all the priests and teachers of the law knew that the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem (which was not far from Jerusalem), yet they did not go there! The gentile/pagan wise men were more concerned with worshipping the king than the people who knew the truth.
....perhaps instead the priests and teachers stayed home and "studied the scriptures" instead of doing what they said.

convicting? definitely. interesting? always.

making a way in the desert

"Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland"

Isaiah 43:19

it is hard to see how the Lord is providing for you in the desert when you are still stuck processing the past. just when i think God has had it 'up to here' with me...he reminds me of his present (and incomprehensible) grace.

what oswald says:

"Our present enjoyment of God’s grace tends to be lessened by the memory of yesterday’s sins and blunders. But God is the God of our yesterdays, and He allows the memory of them to turn the past into a ministry of spiritual growth for our future. God reminds us of the past to protect us from a very shallow security in the present.

Security for Tomorrow.
". . . the Lord will go before you . . . ." This is a gracious revelation— that God will send His forces out where we have failed to do so. He will keep watch so that we will not be tripped up again by the same failures, as would undoubtedly happen if He were not our "rear guard." And God’s hand reaches back to the past, settling all the claims against our conscience.

Leave the broken, irreversible past in His hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him."

thanksgiving quotes thus far...

"you know, you kind of exhibited some signs of autism as a baby...but you still turned out okay...." -aunt nancy, referring to me.

"listen! this thing is like a mobile home!!! you have to move it SLOWLY!" -chan, referring to moving our gingerbread masterpiece

"how can you eat all this candy?" -mom, as she stuffs peanut m&m's into her mouth.

:)

crashing down in nashville

somedays i wonder what the heck i am doing here.

that sounds strange....i know i need to be here right now. i know i needed to get out of charleston for a while and have a fresh start for once. nashville is an amazing city and there are a lot of amazing people here. i just haven't quite found my place yet in all of this.

i feel sort of lost.


These back steps are steeper to the ground
The brightest stars are falling down
I’m walking the edge, walking the tightest rope
We can be frank, reality rips on through, rolling like a hurricane
I’m over the bridge and under the rain
If everything’s falling, if everything’s changed
If I’m in the open, if I’m in the way

What am I doing here
If you’re not with me
What have I got to live for,
if it’s just my own dream

Take it back to the beginning, back to the start
When gravity’s pulling, you’re still holding my heart
You come crashing down
Crashing down
These four walls are closing in on me
The talk is louder than I’ll sing
I want to be there,
want to be where you are but you know it all,
Every look and smile that aren’t meant to break
I’m over the bridge and under the rain
If everything’s falling, if everything’s changed
If I’m in the open, if I’m in the way

What am I doing here
If you’re not with me
What have I got to live for, if it’s just my own dream
Take it back to the beginning, back to the start
When gravity’s pulling, you’re still holding my heart

You come crashing down
Crashing down
And you say that everything is different,
why don’t we just hold on
And you say that everything is different, why don’t we just hold on
Crashing down

-Mat Kearney

*side note: what is funny is that i am sitting in a coffee shop looking at mat kearney while i am writing this. apparently this is where the cool people hang out.

wally world "helping" china after the earthquake

http://www.corpwatch.org/article.php?id=15039

so apparently walmart donated money to help the people of china after the earthquake.
the problem is, they donated the amount of money they make in 20 minutes.
But from that 20 minutes they got weeks of PR coverage by patting themselves on the back. Of course... they forgot to mention all the Chinese people forced to work in Walmart sweatshops so we can "save money and live better."

just something to think about.

i think i need to be more aware about what my money is supporting when i buy things.

wisdom from mr. chambers

"So often we impair God's designed influence, which He desires to exhibit through us, because of our own conscious efforts to be consistent and useful. Jesus said there is only one way to develop and grow spiritually, and that is through focusing and concentrating on God." -Oswald



...why is this so hard to actually put into practice everyday? sometimes i think we (I) overcomplicate things that are meant to be simple.

adventures of moving to nashvegas

felt very grown up this week because:

1. I rented/drove a uhaul truck by myself in a new city (and didn't wreck) and moved a couch and a loveseat from one house to another...all without the help of my dad!
(granted, we did have to get the help of the cable repairman who happened to be next door, but that is totally different). :)

2. Casey and I drilled several big holes into the wall to correctly hang some rather difficult roman shades. Nobody lost any limbs and the blinds were level! Who says girls can't use power tools?

2008 To Do List (The year of adventure!)

-Drive Hwy 1: check
-Hike the Redwoods: check
-Drink Coffee in Seattle: check
-Drink Beer at a Microbrewery: check (Portland)
-Move to a Random New City: check (Nashville-July 17)
-Have quality time with all my friends before I move to above mentioned city: in progress
-Random Road Trip with my sister: check
-Buy a new car, myself: check
-Volunteer at Homeless Shelter: check
-Stop having to go the bloodsucking doctor every 2 weeks: check!(i'm down to every 3 months).
-Finish Reading the 5 books beside my bed: in progress
-Finish college scrapbook: check (2 years after graduating)
-Stop eating processed food: harder than I thought.
-Write a Book: way harder than i thought.
-Backpack through Europe (okay..realistically maybe 2009 or 2010)
-Re-learn all the spanish I forgot
-Take a photography class (hopefully October at Ai Nashville)
-Hike in the Mountains of TN
-Memorizing scripture: i am sucking at this so far this year. in progress.
-Live like I really love Jesus: some days yes, some days unfortunately no. we'll say in progress.

so much to do, so little time.....

superlatives

just a few brief highlights of the trip:

-Most beautiful location: tie between the Smith River NRA in Norcal and the Columbia River Gorge in Oregon. Look them up. You should go there.

-Proudest of their alcohol: Portland. These people are very serious about beer. Very serious. It was good, and a lot of people I met here were pretty intoxicated as a result of how good it was.

-Weird weather Award: San Francisco. They should take the "windy city" title away from Chicago because this place has wind gusts that will knock you off your feet. And it knocks the temperature down about 20 degrees as well.

-Healthiest food: San Fran. These people know their fruits and veggies like no other. I have never seen more tofu in my life.

-Most likely place to smell Marijuana: Anywhere in San Fran. Healthy food, unhealthy smoking habits.

-Most unusual law: The state of Oregon. You aren't allowed to pump your own gas anywhere in the state. In the good ol' state of Oregon, they have gas attendants to do it for you. We figured this out by attempting to do it ourselves and getting screamed at for a few minutes. If you are in a hurry to get gas, you are out of luck. Try another state.

-Most likely to get in trouble for throwing your water bottle in the wrong bin: Oregon. These people are serious about their recycling...most restaurants have several bins for garbage and various categories of recycling. Which is cool. And sometimes confusing.

-Most likely place for people to get high off the sun instead of their coffee: Seattle. I have never seen people more excited about a sunny day. People were going nuts. Of course, their excitement could have been exaggerated due to the fact that just about everyone is walking around with some form of caffeine in their hand 24 hours a day. And yes, there is a Starbucks on every corner.

-Black hole award: Eugene, Oregon. Although there is very little to do here, everyone we met apparently came to visit at some point and just never left. Now they work random jobs and hang out at bars and talk about what they would do if they ever did leave.

-State that is secretly populating the earth: Texas. Yep, everywhere I went I met people from Austin/San Antonio/Dallas/Denton/Houston Texas. Planes, restaurants, hostels...you people are everywhere- except for Texas.

-Most likely to get run over by a bike: Tie between Portland and Seattle. I think I saw more bikes than cars...and due to the very steep hills they definitely can go pretty fast. so you better move out of their way.

-Most likely to run into an activist (of any kind): Portland. In one afternoon I got stopped about 4 or 5 times by various people trying to get me to sign petitions. "Excuse me, would you like to help me save the ancient forests?" was probably my favorite. These people are serious about having causes. Cardboard cutouts of Obama were ducktaped around various historical statues around the city. Who needs Lewis and Clark anyway?

norcal and oregon...

cannot begin to express how beautiful it is here so far. i just can't. these pictures don't even come close.

kierkegaard

recently I read some writings by Soren Kierkegaard. He definitely has some very strong opinions about the mediocrity of Christianity in the “modern age” (‘modern’ considering he wrote in 1800s Denmark ha)
some things I found interesting:

“how wretched and miserable it is to find in a person many good intentions but few good deeds.”

“it is only all too easy to understand the requirements contained in God’s Word (“Give all your goods to the poor.” “If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the left.” “If anyone takes your coat, let him have your cloak also.” “Rejoice always.” “Count it as sheer joy when you meet various temptations” etc.) The most ignorant, poor creature cannot honestly deny being able to understand God’s requirements. But it is tough on the flesh to will to understand it and then to act accordingly. Herein lies the problem. It is not a question of interpretation, but action.”

“Nowadays we can become or live as Christians in the most pleasant way and without ever risking the slightest possibility of offense. All we have to do is start with the status quo and observe good virtues. We can continue to make our lives comfortable by scraping together the world’s goods, as long as we stir into the pot what is Christian as a seasoning, an ingredient that almost serves to refine our enjoyment of life. This kind of Christianity is but a religious variation of the world’s unbelief…”

“We could at least be truthful before God and admit our weakness instead of reducing the requirements.”

“A revolutionary age is an age of action; ours is the age of advertisement and publicity.”

“Our age is without passion. Everyone knows a great deal, we all know which way we ought to go and all the different ways we can go, but nobody is really willing to move.”

"the gamecocks crippled kenny chesney!!"

so rock star friend melissa scored us some free tickets to the kenny chesney/brooks & dunn/leann rimes/gary allen/luke bryan/every other country star concert in cola last weekend. despite the nausea i got from the red and black everywhere, the only time i would set foot in williams brice (other then when clemson is killing carolina) would be a free concert.

now, country concerts are always an experience....but when you have a concert that is from 4pm until, and people start drinking when the sun comes up it always makes a memorable event.
despite the long walks to and from the car (we got up to the entrance where melissa got informed her camera was 'too big.' i had three strikes against me by trying to bring in a camera, an umbrella and an "oversized bag." (of course the bag was big! it had to fit my giant forbidden camera!). so we ditched everything except some cash and our sunglasses and tried again.

when we finally got inside to our seats, the show only got better as the night went on. and by show, i am not referring about the country singers but the drunk people sitting around us.
case in point:
2 rows down, drunken girl passes out and has to be carried out by the paramedics. i mean, she is GONE by 5:30pm. drunk lady next to me starts taking pictures and tells me, "i am going to put this in my scrapbook" in the most obnoxious drunk country accent possible. her friend leans over to me and says, "if she was my friend and she wasn't dead, i would kill her! those tickets were $90! ....but she might be dead already." i look at melissa, trying not to laugh because i am afraid that if i do they might try to kill ME and then i would be the next one taken out on a stretcher.

hours later, kenny chesney finally comes on, only to have his foot crushed by the rising platform he was supposed to enter on. half the stadium didn't know what happened because of the 10 coronas they each had consumed in the past few hours. he proceeded to hobble around for the rest of the night, taking breaks periodically to hide behind his guitarists keeled over in pain. despite a broken foot, he put on a pretty good show. leave it to the gamecocks to cripple a country star. maybe next time he'll play in death valley instead.

and then i found five dollars.


no, really i did.

laundry

a sign you have entered "adult world" is that at least half your clothes require slightly more effort than just throwing them in the dryer after you wash them.

unlike the tooth fairy and the easter bunny,

the monkey lady does exist.

and of course, she is related to us (or she is our "kin" to properly reference the term). mom didn't believe it either... until she actually met the monkey lady while she was in walterboro the other week. sadly, i was not present to experience the excitement.

apparently the "monkey lady" (as she is referred to around walterboro) is a distant cousin of ours. surprise suprise. we have strange relatives. how do ya'll think momma, aunt meg and nancy were able to write 3 books? because we have got real life inspiration right and left around here.

the monkey lady explained that she used to have many monkeys, but she took most of them to florida to give away.
except connie of course.
connie is the monkey she kept. connie apparently goes everywhere with her ("except to the hospital"), is bathed daily, wears diapers at night, and sleeps between her and her husband ("i like to keep an eye on her, because you know monkeys can get into everything...").

i told mom i needed to meet and document this lady and connie for our family photo album. maybe i can have lunch with her....i need to work on that next time i'm in walterboro.
i wish i could make this stuff up, but i can't. :)


"When you find out things about yourself
That you hadn't ought to know
When your grandma calls and books you
On the Jerry Springer show
And you find out you and your wife of ten years
Just might be related
Brother, life's not over
it's just Simply complicated
Life is complicated with its Ifs and ands and buts
It's alright to be crazy, Just don't let it drive you nuts" -Jimmy Buffett

one year of cancer free-dom

i found out this week that i have passed the one year test. after a long wait (thanks to my doctor deciding to take monday off), I was at work when I finally got the voicemail i had been waiting for: "you are completely fine!" exhausted and excited, i went home and cried myself into a nice long nap curled up with my heating pad. (my body temp isn't quite back to normal yet haha).

a lot of the fear and anxiety i have experienced in the past few years has diminished over the past 12 months. my God has been so kind to me in many ways, and through many people. if you are reading this, you are probably one of them. thanks for the encouragment.

the Lord has granted me at least another year. which for me, equals finally being able to move on with my life. finally making plans for things down the road, but being flexible to what God may have in store for me.

"We plan and figure and predict that this or that will happen, but we forget to make room for God to come in as he chooses. Do not look for God to come in any particular way, but do look for Him...No matter how well we may know God, the great lesson to learn is that He may break in at any minute. We tend to overlook this element of surprise, but God never works in any other way. " -Oswald Chambers

2008.....get excited!
i am.

thyroid insanity and answered prayer

not all of ya'll got these, but they are actual emails that went out within an hour of each other yesterday:

8:30am
hey ya'll-

so latest update as of a few minutes ago.....got my blood work done yesterday and just got the results. Two weeks ago, my TSH level was at 1.75 and I has to be at least 30 to have the test, so they made me wait until this week to check again. My TSH is now 129. Which means I am a walking dead person pretty much. The doctor seemed real surprised that it got that high (story of my life).

Unfortunately, I am not able to have the scan this week. Normally I would take a radioactive pill, get scanned and be done (pretty quick procedure). However this year I was just informed that I have to have a more invasive scan. The only day they can do this is on February 4th. I will be injected with some radioactive fluid at 11am and scanned at 3:30pm. Which means, I am still on the diet and still off my meds for another week.

Prayer requests:

-That I can make it through work this week (no thryoid = diminished brain function = aly is an idiot). The Lord's strength will be displayed if I do, because I certainly can't do it on my own.
-That the teachers will have grace and I can rearrange my schedule for monday so I do not have to take the day off.
-That I can make it through the weekend...particularly with energy and not being able to eat at several large events (which includes having to work on Saturday morning, a family birthday party, and the super bowl... which i may skip entirely (sorry wynn and john!).
-That the Lord will have mercy on me during the injection procedure on Monday (if you know me, you know I don't do well with needles in my arms) and that the scan will be clear.

I know the Lord is working through this just like everything else. But honestly, I am just real discouraged/frustrated and it doesn't help that I am psychotic by this point for being off my medicine for over a month. My mom is coming to take care of me today. Please just pray.

In His Kind Arms,
aly
..............................................................................

9:30am
well, not sure who read the last email, but your prayers worked! (thanks cheryl and simonsl! :)

i called the doctor upset and asked if there was any way they could do it sooner. she put me on hold, then came back on and told me that they made a mistake and had scheduled me for the WRONG scan at the hospital (makes you wonder how often that happens?) She worked it so i could have everything done ASAP.

I am getting my pill tomorrow and having the scan on Friday (YAY! which means no injection and i get to start my meds on Friday afternoon).

God has an ironic sense of humor. I think he's teaching me to be flexible.
aly


So needless to say, it was an emotional rollercoaster of a day.
Really, I just need ya'll to pray that I can make it through the next few days. My body feels like its dying, my hair is falling out, i get dizzy when i stand up, and I still have to work until Saturday afternoon. I am so grateful for the Lord and his mercy working it out that I can have this done now instead of next week because I don't think I could have lasted that long. Thanks for the emails...I love ya'll.

i want some m&ms

God is so funny sometimes.

So this morning before coffee with my mentor extraordinaire (Debi) I am sitting at Starbucks reading this:
"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." James 4

I told Debi that over Christmas was the first time I had thought about making some plans for my life since I had gotten sick a few years ago. During my 2 weeks of down time I had a lot of time to read and be still and I realized that I have been so afraid to make plans for fear that I wouldn't be around to carry them out. It sounds silly I know...I was "cancer free" as of last February. But along with my yearly scans to make sure it hasn't come back comes a host of fears all over again.

So I was supposed to have my yearly scan this week and then be able to slowly go back on my synthroid pill. I've been off my thyroid replacement meds for about 2 weeks, and on a low-iodine diet which knocks out anything with salt, eggs, dairy products, soy, butter, seafood, certain veggies, anything in a can, and red dye #3, etc. etc. etc. Which means that you are hungry. And tired. And craving candy to the point of killing someone (or maybe that is just me).

However, after some TSH bloodwork my doc says I will have to wait 2 more weeks....I might feel horrible now, but my blood isn't ready yet. "You do not know what will happen tomorrow..." How about you do not know what will happen today! The Lord is teaching me patience, dependence and flexibility. Apparently I need to hold onto my plans loosely.

so as my brain is going to mush over the next month or two (according to "thyroid for dummies" being hypothroid = confusion, memory loss, dizziness and an ironic sense of humor...not even kidding on that one) ya'll will have pardon me if i am a complete idiot. :)