i want some m&ms

God is so funny sometimes.

So this morning before coffee with my mentor extraordinaire (Debi) I am sitting at Starbucks reading this:
"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." James 4

I told Debi that over Christmas was the first time I had thought about making some plans for my life since I had gotten sick a few years ago. During my 2 weeks of down time I had a lot of time to read and be still and I realized that I have been so afraid to make plans for fear that I wouldn't be around to carry them out. It sounds silly I know...I was "cancer free" as of last February. But along with my yearly scans to make sure it hasn't come back comes a host of fears all over again.

So I was supposed to have my yearly scan this week and then be able to slowly go back on my synthroid pill. I've been off my thyroid replacement meds for about 2 weeks, and on a low-iodine diet which knocks out anything with salt, eggs, dairy products, soy, butter, seafood, certain veggies, anything in a can, and red dye #3, etc. etc. etc. Which means that you are hungry. And tired. And craving candy to the point of killing someone (or maybe that is just me).

However, after some TSH bloodwork my doc says I will have to wait 2 more weeks....I might feel horrible now, but my blood isn't ready yet. "You do not know what will happen tomorrow..." How about you do not know what will happen today! The Lord is teaching me patience, dependence and flexibility. Apparently I need to hold onto my plans loosely.

so as my brain is going to mush over the next month or two (according to "thyroid for dummies" being hypothroid = confusion, memory loss, dizziness and an ironic sense of humor...not even kidding on that one) ya'll will have pardon me if i am a complete idiot. :)