aren't you glad i didn't email this one?

some days i have the weirdest life.

so i went in on monday to the doctor and got some pretty great news as a result of the trial radiation dose and scan that i had last week! last week they gave me a pill and a few days later i got strapped down like a mummy in a machine to scan me for 30-45 min ....it had little lasers to detect just how close it could get to me without actually touching me. it got REAL close. and despite the fake clouds that they had carefully painted on the ceiling, the doctor suggested that i close my eyes. good idea.

on monday they told me the cancer hasn't really spread beyond my throat and they think one strong dose of radiation should take care of what is left. YAY.
i was supposed to get a pill, have to go home for the weekend and avoid people and then be done with it.
sounded simple enough to me, and despite some changes (see below), i feel extremely blessed that cancer is not eating me up from the inside out.
i realize that this is a result of MUCH prayer on YOUR parts. God has been so so so faithful to me through all of this and I cannot begin to express how much i have seen His love and hand through each and every one of you. your prayers and wisdom and words of encouragement amaze me.
so thank you. :) i love you.


well in my consult today things got a little bit ....more ....complicated...weird...funny..?


i started out in the cancer/radiation waiting room of the hospital which on a serious note, is a very sad place. everyone is burned in different places (most radiation does this to you...mine will not) and has little to no hair. mainly the hair loss is due to radiation/chemo (and no my hair will not fall out again thank goodness). but some of this is because they are all over 60 years old and have no hair anyway.
it reminded me a lot of my grandfather (who lost the battle to his thyroid cancer on Good Friday of this year, just a few days after I had my own thyroid tumor taken out). and how much loneliness and pain he must have felt sitting in a very similar waiting room like that every day for many many months. these people i looked at today had that same weariness in their faces. and it made me miss him.
i am reminded how blessed i am to only have to do this just one time when these people have to do it every day.

when they figured out that i was a patient too and was there for the same reason they were, i did get to make friends with some people over some hot chocolate and we exchanged stories about going bald. which made all of us laugh.
then i went in to see my new doctor (this makes #6 if you are keeping count haha)...she's great and i love her.
however, she determined that:

1. i am so hypothyroid i'm now off the chart and beyond the "high" number range haha (if you are a medical person you will understand this lol)

2. i now will be admitted to the hospital tomorrow (SURPRISE!) to get my radiation and have to stay in the hospital for 1-2 days in complete seclusion. i will be in a "wrapped" room (..."kind of like bubble boy" is how my doctor explained it) where literally everything is wrapped in plastic...stuff. they have to detox it when i leave ... strange.

since i will be a little human chernobyl for a day or two, i will have NO human contact (no nurses, no visitors, nada)....except for about 10 min. total or so where my doctor (who will be dressed in a special suit of some sort) will come in and scan my radioactivity level. ( i guess they slide my food through a little door maybe? haha...i will let you know how this works).
i can bring the clothes i have on, some books, toothbrush/etc. and my ipod (i had to beg for that).
thats it.
no cell phone, no computer. they are letting me use the hospital phone and the hospital tv. and apparently those are plastic coated as well.



then when i am let out, for the next 5-7 days i will be staying at mom and dad's house so i can have my own bathroom, dishes, etc. (which sadly destroys me and lindsey's original plan of having me walk the perimeter of the new house while i'm radioactive to kill off all the giant bugs...dang it.)
i have brought every art supply i own over to the house and i will have a week to paint, glue, scrapbook, scribble, organize and create in general.
i'm excited.
i even packed my painting pants. i know i'm weird.

RULES AND REGULATIONS:

*i CAN have visitors, but if you are going to be near me for more than a few minutes then you have to be about 4 or 5 feet away.
*i'm really supposed to mainly try and avoid pregnant people, children and/or midgets, and animals.
and sadly, no i'm not kidding. :) so if one of those categories applies to you, i'll see you in a week or so.
*i can go out in public, but my doctor suggest that i really limit this as much as i can.
*every day i'll be less and less radioactive, so if you are super paranoid and fear for your life....visit me at the end of the week......JUST KIDDING...i think?


5-7 days after my dose, i'll get scanned and hopefully get the go ahead by around next weekend sometime to start my medicine!!!!! then i'll get scanned again in 6-12 months to make sure no cancer has come back. but they are planning on knocking this whole thing out in one strong dose which i am very grateful for. so in a few weeks hopefully i will be adjusted to my new medicine and can once again resume normal social activity, energy level, and body temperature!!!!!


so.
i plan on using my major alone time in the hospital to have some much needed "father daughter" time (as deb calls it) with my jesus. if God had your undivided attention for 1-2 days with no distractions, think about how much he could teach you! i'm kind of excited. i am ready to hear his voice.

also i am curious to see if i will glow in the dark. just a thought.


also, depending on just how secluded i am (i'm checking for cameras), i may become a little living ipod advertisement and have a little dance party in my big plastic room with my music. after all, nobody can bust up in there on me because i might ....i don't know...mutate them ...or something... haha.

**side note: the best comment i have heard so far regarding all this radioactivity comes from bill who suggested:
"well, maybe if you touch a turtle or something you'll mutate and be like the ninja turtles with cool powers and skills! "

one can only hope. :)

God is teaching me not only about trust and being flexible (aka not in control), but also about hearing his voice. i read something today that said, "often what i consider interruptions are divine distractions designed to reveal His plans for me."
although as of this morning, none of this was supposed to happen, i have faith that this unplanned solitude will bring about great things.

i'll let ya'll know how it goes. i'm charging up my ipod, packing up my books, and enjoying the sights and sounds of the night. see you on the outside people.