asking

so over the past few months a phrase that debi has drilled into our heads is,
"What comes to mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you."
...meaning that what you perceive God's character to be often reflects on the spiritual condition of your heart at that moment.

and for me, recently I have realized (or God has shown me) that I wasn't acting like i believed he is the giver of good things. i think it really boils down to the fact that i don't feel like i deserve them....well i know i don't. i think i forget to focus on grace.

I have gone through enough hard circumstances to know and believe that they can turn out to be blessings in the end.... though you first have to suffer through the trials. and although that does happen sometimes, that isn't the way it always has to be.

.....what about blessings that are just... blessings? asking God for something good and believing that if it is his will, he will give it to you? some days i have these big dreams....and i am afraid to ask for them because some small part of me is telling me "you are not made for big things! you can't even manage the small things in your life right now!" and that is a lie. God tells us to ask. He wants us to ask for impossible things, so that in our undeserving sinful weakness, he can give us a miracle and be glorified.

http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php?month=06&day=09&year=07

James 1:
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

i'm trying to believe. i'm daring to ask.