a lesson on how to not waste your life

so yesterday in sunday school we had the privilege of listening to a married couple who have been doing missions in the Northern Africa area for about 40 years or so...and they were amazing.

on top of the incredible stories they told of their opportunities to share Christ with the people in the part of the world, two things really stuck with me about them...

the first being that they have not stopped their ministry (at home in the US or in Africa) just because they are old. john piper talks in "don't waste your life" about how the purpose of life is not to retire in florida and spend all our time playing golf, or bingo, or riding around in a big boat. in fact, if that is what we are working towards then we have missed the whole point entirely...and we have wasted our chance.

one of my greatest fears is waking up 50 years down the road living in materialistic suburbia and wondering where the heck the years have gone and what do i have to show for them? last year, getting diagnosed with cancer certainly bumped this up on my priority list. i had to really look at my life and ask how i was letting the Lord use my time and my talents in case my chance was almost up. now that i am CANCER FREE :) my constant prayer is that i would not waste the life the Lord has chosen to bless me with.

these two missionaries are perfect examples of what christians should be spending our time doing...and stop using our age (being "too young" or "too old") as an excuse. these two faithful servants are finishing their race well. i hope we do the same.

the other thing about them was their relationship with one another. the husband stumbled through several stories while his wife interjected with comments to correct him or clarify...not in a rude or condescending way...more like she was helping him to get it all out...encouraging him along. when she interrupted him, he didn't get irritated or frustrated, just humbly acknowledged his confusion or mistake and looked gratefully at her for her assistance with a smile. when her time came to speak, he proudly introduced her and let his wife tell her own stories.
....you could just tell that they really loved each other i guess. that they had endured incredible hardships together and they really needed one another's help. each had their own strengths to help support the other. it was awesome.

and in 50 years i hope i have that kind of love. i hope you do too.

freedom

i don't have cancer anymore.




last week was a whirlwind of prayer, tests, scary inconclusive results, and more tests. but as of 3:30 on friday, i am cancer free. cancer FREE. i am still processing this.

the Lord is so gracious...funny...but gracious. after leaving community group on tuesday night, he really was speaking to me about what it really means when he says "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corinthians 3:17)...reading through Isaiah 11 when it talks about the spirit of the Lord is the spirit of rest in the Lord, of wisdom, counsel, might, power, understanding, fear of the Lord, and delight in the Lord. Okay so since we have the Holy Spirit then we have all these things..and we have freedom when we are in the Spirit...what does that mean? it means we are FREE despite our circumstances. when i feel the need to just get out in the openness of God's creation or feel the urge to just pick up and leave, the Spirit provides the joy of this freedom even when sitting in our offices (or cubicles for some of you) or in a big white claustrophobic tube in the hospital. gosh this just blew my mind for some reason the other night.

the Lord was gracious enough to provide me comfort to be okay with finding out whether I had cancer or that I didn't have cancer. Good...I was able to trust in the Lord for those things. What I was not prepared for was the Lord telling me that it wasn't choice 1 or choice 2...but secret door number 3: learning to be patient and wait on the Lord and his perfect timing! How little my brain understands the ways of the Lord! He had to stretch me just a little bit more..just a little bit farther with something completely unexpected.

Isaiah 26: 3-8
3 You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.
4 Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.
5 He humbles those who dwell on high,
he lays the lofty city low;
he levels it to the ground
and casts it down to the dust.
6 Feet trample it down—
the feet of the oppressed,
the footsteps of the poor.
7 The path of the righteous is level;
O upright One, you make the way of the righteous smooth.
8 Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws,
we wait for you; your name and renown
are the desire of our hearts.


The Lord is so faithful to me....and has been for the past year and a half. May the Lord bless you with a spirit of FREEDOM today. I love ya'll more than you know!

things that are funny to me...

riding in elevators. we have one at work, and if someone else steps in that you don't know...or know well...i can feel the air get thick with uncomfortableness and the awkward silence that follows till someone gets off.
people can be completely silent for the whole ride, then they'll say "goodbye" or "have a good day" right before they step off. we can only speak when we know we can escape quickly.

it makes me laugh.

maybe because we all subconsciously feel the need to face forward so it would be strange to turn around and talk to the person?
maybe we feel like its not enough personal space and we wouldn't be able to back away from the person since you're trapped in a box?

i don't know. but it is darn funny, let me tell you.

starting to lose it.....

i think i washed my hair 3 times in a row this morning.....and a couple of other days this week.

it could have been more than that or maybe it was just twice...

but it was definately more than once.

i am so tired...i just zone out and can't remember if i have already done it, or if i have just thought about doing it. weird i know.

valen'times' (that was for wimbo)

i love you.


ephesians 3: 14- 19
When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

i think this just hit me today.

i think the hardest thing about adjusting from being in school to working is this:

...it doesn't end.


there is not really a goal to reach for. no exam. no semester completed. no break. if you actually finish a project, then that just means you move on to the next thing on your never-ending to do list. another table to wait on. another person to call. (or for me, another post-it note on my desk) it just goes on and on and on forever.

you had better like your job.

most days, i do.

how you "know"....?

good song about our constant analyzation of whether a person is "the one" or not.....and how we question if there is someone out there that God has created who is better for us. you know how people say when you are with the person you are going to marry, you just "know." i don't know how you "know." sometimes i think we are looking for a perfect person....and that doesn't exist...well except for Jesus. my dad told me once that "loving a person is a choice...a commitment. you may not always feel like loving someone, but you choose too anyway."
when you really choose to love someone, (and you don't entertain the thought that they owe you something)...you are learning how to serve and encourage another human being. if you are worrying about what they are giving you (or not giving you), then eventually you'll be very unsatisfied and probably bitter. they are going to disappoint you. and tick you off. but if we would stop thinking about ourselves for one minute and think about them first, then that would solve a good bit of the problem right there. just a thought.

All At Once -The Fray

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same
Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another

in the home stretch

a few more weeks folks.

i'm now officially off my medicine and on a "low iodine" diet (which = nothing containing salt, dairy products, eggs, soy products, seafood, canned foods or drinks, cured meats, or Red Dye #3...and no i'm not kidding about the last one) for the next 2-3 weeks until my blood shows i'm ready for my scan.

and then.........

we will know. one way or the other.
i'm ready to be done.

and when i am....time to party!!!!