title? i don't know. i lose my creative edge after 2pm.

some things i am learning:

-sitting behond a desk for the majority of my day is slowly taking years off my life. i am working on remedying this. people every day are suffocating in the land of cubicles and multi-lined phones and carpel tunnel syndrome and i don't know how they do it for 30 years.

-most people (at least most people i know) are really not enjoying their first job out of college. this makes me feel good....well, better. not because my friends are suffering through horrible work experiences, but because i am not the only idiot that made a bad first career choice. there is strength in numbers guys. we'll learn from our mistakes.

-despite our craziness, my family is dysfunctionally functional. if that makes sense. the more and more I am exposed to really really bad family situations at work, the more I am thankful that my parents are relatively normal the majority of the time. i love them. :) they are really funny.

-how to catch bait. dad has officially declared me a "bubbette" (the female version of a bubba?). this honorable title was bestowed upon me after i successfully learned how to throw the cast net this weekend. after getting covered in pluff mud and a mouth of salt water, i did actually manage to catch some shrimp. yay.

-and....my brain often tries to convince me not to do what the Lord is telling me. Like when I am praying about a job with a Christian company and the Lord says clearly not to take it, my brain is saying "No!!! What are you doing!!! You need a job!!! These people are nice! This doesn't make any sense at all!" This is a problem. I am having to tell my brain to be quiet more and more frequently these days. Perhaps I am learning obedience even in seemingly illogical circumstances. I am banking on the fact that relying on earthly wisdom leads to disorder (see James 3).

*note: after writing this initially, i went home and read this below:
ha. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor? (and an ironic one at that).


"Yes— But . . .!"

Lord, I will follow You, but . . . —Luke 9:61
Suppose God tells you to do something that is an enormous test of your common sense, totally going against it. What will you do? Will you hold back? If you get into the habit of doing something physically, you will do it every time you are tested until you break the habit through sheer determination. And the same is true spiritually. Again and again you will come right up to what Jesus wants, but every time you will turn back at the true point of testing, until you are determined to abandon yourself to God in total surrender. Yet we tend to say, "Yes, but— suppose I do obey God in this matter, what about . . . ?" Or we say, "Yes, I will obey God if what He asks of me doesn’t go against my common sense, but don’t ask me to take a step in the dark."
Jesus Christ demands the same unrestrained, adventurous spirit in those who have placed their trust in Him that the natural man exhibits. If a person is ever going to do anything worthwhile, there will be times when he must risk everything by his leap in the dark. In the spiritual realm, Jesus Christ demands that you risk everything you hold on to or believe through common sense, and leap by faith into what He says. Once you obey, you will immediately find that what He says is as solidly consistent as common sense.
By the test of common sense, Jesus Christ’s statements may seem mad, but when you test them by the trial of faith, your findings will fill your spirit with the awesome fact that they are the very words of God. Trust completely in God, and when He brings you to a new opportunity of adventure, offering it to you, see that you take it. We act like pagans in a crisis— only one out of an entire crowd is daring enough to invest his faith in the character of God.

trusting in his promises

listening to selah:
you are my hiding place
you always fill my heart
with songs of deliverance
whenever i am afraid
i will trust in you

i will trust in you
let the weak say i am strong
in the strength of the Lord
i will trust in you

then happened to go home and read Psalm 32 on the same day. weird.
well, not weird. God.

1 Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
2 Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him
and in whose spirit is no deceit.
3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD "
— and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
6 Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found
surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.
7 You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you.
9 Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding
but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.
10 Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love
surrounds the man who trusts in him.
11 Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous;
sing, all you who are upright in heart!

If he says he will, then he will. A promise is a promise, after all.

perseverance

good for me to hear today.

the outcastes

so a week or two ago a missionary came and spoke to our sunday school at church. he lives overseas a good bit of the time. and he was talking about the caste system that is in place where he is...

the majority of the population is in the lowest caste and many are even completely outside of the caste system all together...the outcastes. these people are pariahs of "civilized" society... considered to be nothing but"talking animals" by the upper castes.
their voices cannot be heard by people in the upper castes b/c it would "pollute" them...they cannot touch something at the same time as someone in the upper caste b/c it would be considered the same as physically touching them...something the upper castes consider disgusting. some of the outcastes are termed "unsee-ables" because they cannot even be seen by anyone in the upper castes. they travel the streets only at night under the cover of darkness to do things like sweeping the streets and removing garbage.

so.....these things have really stuck with me. it makes me physically sick to think about this kind of injustice. partly because its sad that only a few dedicated people are even attempting to do anything about this problem.
and partly because of a dream i've had.
i rarely rememember my dreams, usually just my nightmares (too bad its not the other way around). i'm not sure if this would qualify as a nightmare or not, but it certainly is disturbing to me. since i've had it about 4 or 5 separate times now, i figured it might be something i should think about.

anyway, in the dream i am driving on this particular road in charleston and i see this homeless guy standing by the side of the road. and he's looking at me...right at me in the eyes. and he's crying.

that's it. then i wake up.
and i've been looking for him ever since.

i've been thinking about our 'unsee-ables' in charleston. the people we try not to look at...or don't look at. we pretend we don't see the homeless people standing on the corners with signs, or in the market in wheelchairs asking for change.
but its not just them.
how often do we look at the clerk in the grocery store line? i mean, really look at them in the face and speak words to them other than the automatic response of "i'm doing good thanks"? do we treat them any differently than the automated machine in the u-scan line?
what about the people stranded on the side of the road by their broken down cars looking hot and tired?and do we treat the people at the drive through window with frustration as we snatch our food from them because we had to wait in line for 5 minutes?

i guess i've been thinking about how much we don't treat people like...people. really we are no better than those living by their castes. we treat people like talking animals sometimes too. and that needs to change. really we need to see people as Jesus saw them....as precious treasures...lost and in need of God's love.


Psalm 72:1-14
"Give the king your justice, O God,and your righteousness to the royal son!
May he judge your people with righteousness,and your poor with justice!
Let the mountains bear prosperity for the people,and the hills, in righteousness!
May he defend the cause of the poor of the people,give deliverance to the children of the needy,and crush the oppressor!...
For he delivers the needy when he calls,the poor and him who has no helper.
He has pity on the weak and the needy,and saves the lives of the needy.
From oppression and violence he redeems their life,and precious is their blood in his sight."